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Being a People Pleaser & the Golden Rule

Happy Good Friday to you.  I thought this would be a good topic for Good Friday as it relates to inner peace, being honorable, turning the other cheek and being a people pleaser.

My three young children can be mean to each other sometimes.

In your daily life, how often do you have to deal with mean people?  Mean people are everywhere.  They exist all around us and pervade society.  They are at the grocery store, in your neighborhood or perhaps it’s a customer or vendor you must deal with.  Oftentimes we encounter these people and they appear to have the ability to disrupt our good mood, good nature or worse yet, bring us down to their level—if we let them.

Unfortunately, that is life.  There are people out there who are only nice to you if they know you can do something for them.  Life isn’t fair and not everyone is honorable or eager to please you—they are out for numero uno – themselves.  Sometimes these mean people don’t have to say a word, they may simply ignore your requests or pleas to help or mitigate loss in situations.

You are not alone in this world…

I’ve had attorneys equivocate, ignore and mislead me.

I’ve had CPAs lie, forget or simply be apathetic to my queries.

I’ve had multiple vendors, from our landscaper to bankers, not follow through on promises.

It would be easy to be mean, vindictive or ignore the offending party but I’ve found it’s easier and healthier for your soul to simply turn the other cheek (like our Lord Jesus Christ) which will give you a bit more inner peace.  That meanie may appear to be selfish, egotistical or callous but the fact is we don’t really know what’s going on with that other person.  Instead, try to keep being your best self, the self God knows you can be.  Meditation/prayer can help with this and I think I will cover that in another chapter.  I find it enjoyable to meditate on the Word of Christ and that’s where I get the best of both worlds, prayer and meditation.

Let’s get back to mean people.  You might think that I must be some sort of evil person if all of those people are doing things like that to me.  I assure you, I am a genuine, “nice” person.  Surprisingly, I think that is why those above have offended me.  I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’m what you call a “people pleaser”.  Being a people pleaser has a negative connotation with it.  However, I’m okay with no one leaving me unless they are happy, that’s the way I roll.  I think some people can sense that and try to take advantage of my nature.  This works for them one or two times, but then it’s shame on them as I vote with my money and I can’t stick with negative people forever.  Just because I’m a people pleaser doesn’t mean I get taken advantage of.

I do not ever intend to change from being a people pleaser.  I am a giver, not a taker.  I believe in giving more than I receive.  Some people think being a people pleaser is a bad thing, a weakness, but I think it’s a strength.  The trick to being a people pleaser is to not be conned into doing everything for free.  Things need to be fair and you must ask for what you are due–in business that may be money and in personal affairs that may be hugs.  I have found that I have many more rewarding relationships because I go out of my way to please others.  I take that extra step to assure that the job or my commitment is 110% done, even if I’m making no money on the deal, my word is my bond.  I’ve made a lot of money, but I’ve also left so much on the table simply to keep everyone happy.  When I do this I also know I can come back and have an ally that I can trust.  Knowing I have an army of associates willing to help me because I have helped them is what empowers me to please more people.

This sounds similar to the Golden Rule to me.  The Golden Rule is the moral principle of treating others as one wants to be treated by them. It was expressed by Christ in his Sermon on the Mount: “So always treat others as you would like them to treat you; that is the meaning of the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12)

Here for you in success.

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